Triumph of the Advocates: a vision for this world, or the next.

Lapidus. Hey you, Lepus! What are you doing there, sitting around? Are you stargazing?

Lepus. Lapidus, what’s wrong? You look distressed.

Lapidus. I’m tired, that is all. Perhaps that is the reason for my distress. I just dreamt the most amazing dream, a vision. But unlike dreams that take you more deeply into yourself, this one left me exhausted and enervated.

Lepus. Tell me more.

Lapidus. I saw this procession of souls. They advanced before my sight, in double file. Some were elegantly attired, others with more apparent humility. Male and female, old and young, they stepped in unison, even as individually their voices rang out. It was spell-binding.

Lepus. Where were they headed?

Lapidus. Their destination was unclear: equally obscure was their origin. In the direction of their march, on the horizon, stood a large arch fastened between two pillars. A sign was posted there, with faint but distinct Roman lettering. It read, “Trovate ogni valori, voi ch’entrate.” The phrase I rendered as “Find all values, you who enter here.”

Lepus. A strange saying, in a strange language.

Lapidus. Yes, I don’t know why it was not in English.

Lepus. Was that it?

Lapidus. Not in the least! Each soul turned toward me to state its case. They all mentioned their professions, and put forward, like lawyers, the merits of their chosen fields.

Lepus. Fascinating and dreadful.

Lapidus. Indeed. The literary scholar was first in line; she explained the way she valued words, their sequences and various forms of elocution. She cited the writings of famous authors (whom, for the life of me, I did not recognize), and how their readers come to understand, and then emulate, the elegance of their works. Then strode forth the historian, presenting a more practical aspect, and promising to teach sensitivity toward our ancestors, near and far. Close on his heels was the political scientist, with a shrewd face, who created systems from the findings of history, supported by the qualities of good government and civic consciousness. Further back, I saw shuffling, with a downward gaze, the philosopher, as she demonstrated, by argument, both the merits and flaws of her own reasonings, and put forth that this ability was worthy of acquisition.

Lapus. Such a crew! Were there more?

Lepidus. Yes. To my dismay, the path was ringed by scientists, who by turns applauded and mocked the others, as they walked alongside them. The biologist devoted herself to the virtues of taxonomy, and claimed to best Linnaeus and Darwin in the knowledge of preserving the species of things. The chemist had a sallower countenance; his voice was quieter, more withdrawn, but I could make out that he was discovering new formulae for us to enjoy greater leisure with more stable, if not more profound, equanimity. And close by walked the physicist, who announced ways to travel faster and higher, and almost slip the bonds of gravity.

Lepus. This was truly a spectacle. I’m surprised you could hear each person’s claims, as each was advocate for his or her own case.

Lapidus. That was the worst part of it, or nearly the worst.

Lepus. What do you mean?

Lapidus. Let me explain. The cacophony, the jangling voices, made a poor pilgrimage, as everyone argued with the next, upholding one set of values above the rest. If Chaucer’s pilgrims had spoken in this manner on their path to Canterbury, he would have been well-advised to leave them alone and mind his other, political duties. Such fragmentation, such dissonance in this ambulatory advocacy left my thoughts confused, as if witnessing a post-cultural wasteland. But that was not the worst feature of this whole vision.

Lepus. You make it sound bad enough. What could be worse?

Lapidus. Behind them all, like a secret engine, stood a glowering figure, the business agent. He seemed to have infiltrated their thinking, so that all professions spoke, as if at his prompting, about the costs and benefits of their disciplines. He weighed their advocacy of values, determining their social place, and urged them on to trumpet them, for it seemed as if he found greater sway in their clashing self-interests; and each of them, silently influenced by his power, attempted to rise above the others and gain a greater number of followers by arguing for a higher rank in the hierarchy of values.

Lepus. No wonder you seem so disturbed.

Lapidus. Where is cultural unity to be found? Can we not assert a different sort of advocacy, in Cicero’s words: “animum ad se ipsum advocamus”; let us summon the mind to itself, to its own nature, above these concerns?

Lepus. Noble words. Then you seek to live as Cicero wished, but not as he did.